The Return of Celica Nemesis
Posted by Patrick on Friday, June 02, 2006Celica Nemesis is back, and he's trying to kill everyone else on the road. Everyone.
I haven't talked about C.N. in over a year, mostly because I hadn't really seen him. My work schedule and his haven't lined up so much, so I never see him. That's kind of a nemesis quality though.... you see them, and then you don't see them for a while. Very nemesisish.
He still drives the same car, a C-class Mercedes, and he's apparently lost his mind.
So I left work a little late today, and headed back home to Rockland Ave. Up ahead on the highway, I see C.N., and he's got his lane-swerve on, per his usual style. The first half of my commute (Review here) is kind of high traffic, right up to a stop light. No matter how much you weave and pass, that light will always get you on Friday coming home.
Anyway, we're stopped at the light. C.N. is up ahead. Light turns green and Celica Nemesis is trapped behind a pickup truck. He knows that his straight shot to high speed home commuting is just beyond this truck. I'm in same lane, behind a truck of my own, then it's C.N., and then C.N's personal road-block.
Clearly Mr. Nemesis is PO'd, because he's boxed in and can't get around this truck. The truck is maybe doing 70ish in a 65mph zone, and that's about 25mph to slow for our antagonist. He's swervin', and swirvin, knowing that 6th gear freedom is just beyond Slow F-250. Two-lane traffic his repressing his Mercedes. His anger is swelling - his brake lights flicker as he gets closer and then backs off. He was trapped.
Then a window opens in the right lane! Gears are shifted and Celica Nemesis blasts into the right lane and makes the pass around his new sworn enemy, Slow F-250. Freedom!
This is the part where I assumed Celica Nemesis would rocket away down the highway. This was not at all the case.
Instead, Celica Nemesis decides to express his rage in disc brake form. C.N. slams on his brakes. In the left lane of the highway. Right in front of Slow F-250. In the pouring rain (did I mention the rain?). Trucks swerve within their lane. Trucks in front of me. We were doing 70ish, and now we are traveling 40mph.
Celica Nemesis has lost it. He wants us to die. 
I keep it under control and don't smack any other vehicles. I duck into the right lane and book it on ahead. I pass by C.N., still doing 40mph in the left lane in front of the truck. I get one glance at his face and he's staring in his rear view mirror, smiling with a maniacal look on his face. He's clearly gone over the edge.
I felt betrayed. Celica Nemesis tried to kill me. Using trucks.
Labels: Automotive
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