I.T., Phone Home
Posted by Patrick on Wednesday, August 03, 2005Part of being the low man on the totem pole at my work means being the last line in voice mail. When the techish higher-ups aren't in the office, their voicemail will direct you, the caller, to me, a human being. I've got no problem with this, as I know I'd rather speak to a human than wait for someone to maybe get back to me. The system works. Important messages get sent to the people who need them, and the flow of the universe flows on.
The downisde of this placement on the voicemail food chain is sales calls. Tis still a dark time for the tech world, and large vendor-selling-stuff-businesses still have their sales people make "cold calls" to other businesses. Those who do this are brave, facing, no-doubt, constant rejection. These cold-callers are the telemarketers of the technology world. They call me while I'm right in the middle of dinner working on all the weird things that I do at my job. There is no do-not-call list for this situation.
When my boss, and her boss' boss are out, I may get one or two of these sales calls a day. As much as I'd like to right-out hang up on them, I feel bad, know that what goes around comes around, and I am definatly not the like the BOFH of Internet lore. Their cold calling means I'm about to lose five minutes of my day, explaining to them how the company I work for is actually owned by a much larger company, who kind of do their own thing when it comes to technology stuff. It's complex, and often times the cold callers don't get it: There's nothing I can do to help you, and calling back at the end of the day will change nothing.
Last year for a period of almost 5 months, I was vendor-stalked by this man named Zack who would call looking for my boss' boss at least once a week, selling useful things like synergy and ecommerce database something-or-others. At one point my boss' boss finally let me know that he wouldn't be needing the messages from this guy any more. And despite me conveying that to Zack, he continued to call. Zack then switched jobs, and called me from his new sales job, selling whatever that company was selling. His stubborness was admirable, but his calls were all futile.
The trend lately in cold-calls, is to have folks from other countries call us and try to sell their products. I'm sure this is cheaper up front for the vendors. Still, cold calling international men-of-mystery have two distinct disadvantages:
I received one of these international cold calls today. This new chap claims his name is Kevin, but I am open to the possibility that he's hiding his real name, instead reading what's on his script. He's looking for my boss' boss (or my boss, if she is there). He can pronounce neither of their names, and would very much like to scheudle some time to speak with me about e-this and intra-that. Since I have absolutely no authority to buy anything (except office supplies), I really can't help him.
I try to explain the whole my-company-is-owned-by-a-larger-company dyanmic, but he's not having it. He's not having it, because it's not on the script he's reading from. He just wants to speak to someone about selling us something. At this point it's kind of awkward. He must know the call is going no-where fast. After re-explaining that no one can speak to him, he finally gives up, informs me that I can have a nice day, and hangs up.
I feel for this guy, he's working as hard as he can to sell stuff to people who probably don't want to buy from him. He's got limited information, just a few names and phone numbers. He doesn't know that the company I work for already uses their products...but explaining that would only extend my pain.
It makes me wonder, is this any way to market your product?
Labels: Nerdery
There are 4 comments! ≡
