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The decline of the American movie theatre experience
Posted by Patrick on Wednesday, January 07, 2004
This past weekend, Kate and I hit the ol' Showcase North Attleboro to see Lord of the Rings part 3. First, I thought it was a really good movie. Good fight scenes, crazy huge elephants, talking trees, and that guy with the bow and arrow is badass. Kate thinks he's a "Fairy" because of his ears, but he's really an elf, or elve or something. Totally different. I've never seen a fairy shoot ogres like that. Hmph.
Plus, no product placements. Which leads me to the start of my rant about the movie-going experience. Here's what's wrong with going to see a flick in a theatre, in no particular order:
Ticket Prices: I know it makes me sound like an old man, but in my day.... 9 bucks to see a film is far to much money. You really have to think about what you're going to see. Is the next 95 minutes worth nine dollars? It's not the 9 really, it's the 18 bucks you pay if you go with someone else.
Product Placement: I'm a little torn on this one. I think what really bothers me is blatent product placement, where the camera lingers on the Nokia logo, or the pepsi can. Hey! I see your product! Get back to the movie! And really, I think I notice it more when they change products to generic names, like red cans that say Cola in the Coke font. So, my solution is to keep product placement in movies in order to keep things real, but to remove blatent, camera-lingering product placement.
Pre-movie Advertisements: This truly enrages me. I am paying you money, do not take my time and fill it with lame Pepsi Advertisements! Kate says: And it's the same comercials they show on TV! Not even some cool superbowl-style commercial!. I've only seen one cool pre-movie commercial, and it was for a Nissan 350z, and for some reason they were speeding it around Prauge at 100+mph. It was super-cool, but I haven't seen it since.
That one last commercial, after the previews, that tells you not to download movies: This one agravated both Kate and I. Just when you think the movie's about to start, post previews, some stunt guy or key grip or intern-associate-producer comes on and is like "don't download movies cause my kids will starve." Hey pal, you are preaching to the choir! Here we are, already paid for the ticket! Clearly we are movie-goers, at least in theory. Do not yell at me! Here's a thought, if your kids are gonna starve, unionize yourself and demand a little more cash for your movie-making time. And what about all the actors who are rolling in $15mil for two months of work? How about they distribute the movie budget a little more evenly. I know, I know, what would America be without it's overpaid actors. But really, shave a couple million off the salaries of the high-paid mega-stars and give it to your production crew! That way, everyone can have a BMW, and stunt-men and lighting directors will stop nagging me before the show. Otherwise, leave me alone.
And finally, movie previews: I like movie previews, at least in theory. Don't give away the entire movie in those 30 seconds.
If you've read this far, thank you. I don't think I'll start any sort of movie-reform movement, because, like mom use to say "
It's only a movie."
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